Homefront Radio

Homefront Radio: I’d spent three years working out at the Gym with this guy I’ll call ‘KentheCop’. We arrived around the same time each morning, would both work out for an hour in silence, then leave. I was pleased to see that, like me, he just treated the gym as Work and didn’t shirk his workouts for the sake of socializing, or sit on the machines perving at the aerobics girls, like half the men there did. He was disciplined about it, which of course made him very attractive to me. The leather cop jacket didn’t hurt either.

Unfortunately, we were both so stoic that after three years we’d said no more to each other than the ‘nod of recognition / acknowledgement’, that we’d do each morning. Very rarely, his wife would come along, and I thought to myself that he was reaching the mid-life crisis point and the marriage was obviously on the skids. He was all jaw and muscles, she looked like Wallace Shawn, (not even Wallace Shawn in drag!)

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – jaw and muscles, how shallow! I was actually hugely attracted to him when he first appeared at the gym, with just a normal body, purely because he had a bit of salt and pepper happening, and this big pair of sad brown puppy dog eyes.

Man he was gorgeous. I ended up a little obsessive if he didn’t come into the gym each morning. I hoped that maybe he’d hit the ‘try out a guy’ phase. One day, in the locker room, I was putting my shoes on and he plopped his workout bag on the bench next to me, then stepped into the shower cubicle. I spent a good minute wondering if I should slip a note in his bag. Nothing dirty – I’m not *that* stupid. Just a ‘You interested in coffee?’

What stopped me was purely thinking ‘if you can’t be a man enough to talk to them face to face why the hell would you been as childish enough to leave a note?’ I imagined his horror as he read it. I figured I’d rather have his grudging respect than some kind of sex situation.

If I ran into him in a gay bar though, all bets were off.

I still hear about gay guys doing stupid things like this all the time though, then wondering why they get their heads bashed in. Straight guys are just trying to live their lives people! Don’t SMS that hunky tradesman asking him to come back for a bit of ‘fun’ and then wonder why you get abused!