Reader Responses to the Question, How is Your Love Life?
Well lets see... I met my partner while I lived at one of the gayest addresses in the one-double-oh-fuckyou zipcode. And, even though we shared some of the same friends, and belonged to some of the same social groups, and had actually been introduced one or two times over the previous decade, it was not until we exchanged vitriol and bitterness via internet ads voicing our mutual disenchantmant with internet dating that we met and fell and in love. "Oh Shit" was what my soul yelped when I first peered downstairs at him after buzzing him in. The kind of 'oh shit' that told my soul 'thats him, I'd recognize him anyware'. It wasn't just the 'Awesome! He's hot!' or pleasant surprise of a cute date. It was the stirring of the soul that screams 'Are ya really ready for what you asked for?' YIKES! In an instant it was happily ever after. Not much has changed except the mortgage payment and a couple of pounds. Each day is just as precious as the first. My Dad used to say 'There is a lid for every pot'. After years of figuring out whether I was a lid or a pot, I found my match. Bitterness and demographics are just callouses on the soul. Love can happen anywhere and usually when you least expect it. But, the best advice I ever got was from a terminally fabulous queen on Christopher Street who told me early on "The object of the game sweetie, is to become the man you always wanted to date".
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Just before I turned 50, a guy I knew in my 20s called me up seemingly out of the blue. He wanted to come over, supposedly to pick up a box of books I had promised to a friend of his. A ruse, of course. He brought a pie & stayed 4 hours. The fact that he is, & has always been, strikingly good looking was, I will say, an actual negative. I didn't want to have to ride in the back seat of all the attention he gets. The conversation over pie was highly animated. We laughed a lot. I realized that even though I'd known him for 20 years or so, I never had any real idea who he was. After he left I thought: you are such a fool, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HIM OUT? So rather than moderate a prolonged mental debate on the subject, I picked up the phone. Our first date consisted of 6 hours spent in a swamp called Tinnicum, out by the Philadelphia airport. Hiking and birdwatching. We've been boyfriends ever since. I've never had more fun, or better sex, with anyone. Relationships in your middle years are definitely different. But like so many other things, it's a difference you can only know through experience.
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Awesome. My man and I are coming on 5 years together. Is it perfect? Hell no. Nothing is. We sometimes fight like wild cats. But we're both radically hot-blooded and passionate, so it stands to reason. We always talk it through, though...and more times than not, laugh about it later.
And to the guy asking if it's normal to lust after other people...uh, IMHO the answer is yes. My bf and I talk about other guys a lot. Some would find this distasteful, or threatening to the relationship...but that level of honesty has only intensified our level intimacy and connection.
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I was blissfully, happily single on July 22 when I went to a little brunch where I was inroduced to a big handsome fella. We fell so hard and so fast, we're closing on a condo together in eight days -- just a few days short of knowing each other for six months.
I am so in love with him I don't even know how to categorize my feelings.
So I'd say my love life is pretty spectacular. Spectacular enough, in fact, that it warrants one of these irritating little thingies:
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I am constantly amazed by the human capacity to love and accept, and will continue to wander blithely through life seeking love, sex, friendship and affection where I can find them.
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feast or famine, as usual...
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I AM IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!! We are officially in the " hey , Listen to this song on my IPOD" , Phase.
Its corny, its sappy and horrendously idealistic for a cynical 33 year old New Yorker .. but who gives a shit !!
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After almost nine years, we're still in L.U.V. We met, went on a date and he never went home.
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i am freshly madly in love with my husband after 15 years and a recent trip to mexico.
i would like to fuck one man in houston one more time (or several) before i die. 27 years since i've seen him . . .
but my husband ~ life is good.
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I was in a serious he-might-be-The-One relationship for a while until he dumped me a few months ago, and since then I've embarked on the slutty phase I never went through in my youth. It's been fun so far. No love involved, however.
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My man's name is Mike. He is the love child of Mr. Rogers and The Marlboro Man.
His formidable aura, forged in P'town and The Castro by way of Brooklyn, has not always kept me in line. Last September he asked me to move out.
But ours is a relationship Henny Youngman could have appreciated: it's so bad even the breakup fell apart (bi-doop)!
Once again, he cooks for me every night. We watch old movies on Turner Classic, and go on endless mindwalks to the beaches and woods and along Commercial.
We're trying to work things out, but not too hard. We play around, but not too much. A bad night at the A-House recently proved that I will never get this man on the disco floor...there is some hurt in that part going back to the "good old days," that I can only guess at; he never tells.
The unstudied quality seems to be key to this phase of our life together. The proof is in the passion, which has begun to resurrect itself like Lazarus -- plenty stiff, if not with the freshest smell and sprightliest the step. When things began two years ago, we were bed-busters.
Still, can't complain!
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I keep telling myself it could be worse. Which is what you tell yourself when it couldn't. So I've done what most urban single girls do: thrown myself into my career.
Just can't seem to get guys to notice me..
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Ah, love… that delightful interval between meeting a handsome man and discovering that he's just another asshole.
To fall in love, you have to be in the state of mind for it to take… as with any disease.
It appears that I am no longer capable… of doing what English soles do, and goldfish in the privacy of bowls do; even pekineses in the Ritz do it, apparently… not to mention the Electric eels, though it shocks them I know.
Have I evolved?
Ms Cuentin Quisp
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It's been two years and still i love him enough to lie about the black eye, the broken ribs, the constant bruises... or maybe I just love myself too little.
how's my love life? dysfunctional and codependent and slowly killing me.
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Just before I turned 50, a guy I knew in my 20s called me up seemingly out of the blue. He wanted to come over, supposedly to pick up a box of books I had promised to a friend of his. A ruse, of course. He brought a pie & stayed 4 hours. The fact that he is, & has always been, strikingly good looking was, I will say, an actual negative. I didn't want to have to ride in the back seat of all the attention he gets. The conversation over pie was highly animated. We laughed a lot. I realized that even though I'd known him for 20 years or so, I never had any real idea who he was. After he left I thought: you are such a fool, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HIM OUT? So rather than moderate a prolonged mental debate on the subject, I picked up the phone. Our first date consisted of 6 hours spent in a swamp called Tinnicum, out by the Philadelphia airport. Hiking and birdwatching. We've been boyfriends ever since. I've never had more fun, or better sex, with anyone. Relationships in your middle years are definitely different. But like so many other things, it's a difference you can only know through experience.
----------------
Awesome. My man and I are coming on 5 years together. Is it perfect? Hell no. Nothing is. We sometimes fight like wild cats. But we're both radically hot-blooded and passionate, so it stands to reason. We always talk it through, though...and more times than not, laugh about it later.
And to the guy asking if it's normal to lust after other people...uh, IMHO the answer is yes. My bf and I talk about other guys a lot. Some would find this distasteful, or threatening to the relationship...but that level of honesty has only intensified our level intimacy and connection.
----------------
I was blissfully, happily single on July 22 when I went to a little brunch where I was inroduced to a big handsome fella. We fell so hard and so fast, we're closing on a condo together in eight days -- just a few days short of knowing each other for six months.
I am so in love with him I don't even know how to categorize my feelings.
So I'd say my love life is pretty spectacular. Spectacular enough, in fact, that it warrants one of these irritating little thingies:
----------------
I am constantly amazed by the human capacity to love and accept, and will continue to wander blithely through life seeking love, sex, friendship and affection where I can find them.
----------------
feast or famine, as usual...
----------------
I AM IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!! We are officially in the " hey , Listen to this song on my IPOD" , Phase.
Its corny, its sappy and horrendously idealistic for a cynical 33 year old New Yorker .. but who gives a shit !!
----------------
After almost nine years, we're still in L.U.V. We met, went on a date and he never went home.
----------------
i am freshly madly in love with my husband after 15 years and a recent trip to mexico.
i would like to fuck one man in houston one more time (or several) before i die. 27 years since i've seen him . . .
but my husband ~ life is good.
----------------
I was in a serious he-might-be-The-One relationship for a while until he dumped me a few months ago, and since then I've embarked on the slutty phase I never went through in my youth. It's been fun so far. No love involved, however.
----------------
My man's name is Mike. He is the love child of Mr. Rogers and The Marlboro Man.
His formidable aura, forged in P'town and The Castro by way of Brooklyn, has not always kept me in line. Last September he asked me to move out.
But ours is a relationship Henny Youngman could have appreciated: it's so bad even the breakup fell apart (bi-doop)!
Once again, he cooks for me every night. We watch old movies on Turner Classic, and go on endless mindwalks to the beaches and woods and along Commercial.
We're trying to work things out, but not too hard. We play around, but not too much. A bad night at the A-House recently proved that I will never get this man on the disco floor...there is some hurt in that part going back to the "good old days," that I can only guess at; he never tells.
The unstudied quality seems to be key to this phase of our life together. The proof is in the passion, which has begun to resurrect itself like Lazarus -- plenty stiff, if not with the freshest smell and sprightliest the step. When things began two years ago, we were bed-busters.
Still, can't complain!
----------------
I keep telling myself it could be worse. Which is what you tell yourself when it couldn't. So I've done what most urban single girls do: thrown myself into my career.
Just can't seem to get guys to notice me..
----------------
Ah, love… that delightful interval between meeting a handsome man and discovering that he's just another asshole.
To fall in love, you have to be in the state of mind for it to take… as with any disease.
It appears that I am no longer capable… of doing what English soles do, and goldfish in the privacy of bowls do; even pekineses in the Ritz do it, apparently… not to mention the Electric eels, though it shocks them I know.
Have I evolved?
Ms Cuentin Quisp
----------------
It's been two years and still i love him enough to lie about the black eye, the broken ribs, the constant bruises... or maybe I just love myself too little.
how's my love life? dysfunctional and codependent and slowly killing me.
----------------
posted by cockoholick at 2:26 PM
1 Comments:
Goodness! I turn up in the most unexpected of places!
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