Queer Eye, Schmeer Eye

By now it should be clear to my readers that I have a penchant for lists. I had to post this funny and witty top-ten reasons why Queer Eye for the Straight Guy blows (and not in the good way).

Queer Eye, Schmeer Eye

The reviews are in and the new season of Queer Eye has fallen out of favor with the critics. MSNBC says the "Fab Five" have morphed from witty and hip to sappy and Oprah-esque. Well, I've hated Queer Eye since the beginning and have often whined about this on my own blog...so now I'm spreading my anti-Queer Eye venom to unsuspecting and innocent poor Thomas' blog. He's not to blame for this rant!

Frankly, I don't think the show has changed, what has changed is that the critics have gotten over their "queer is cool no matter what" affliction. It would have been politically incorrect for a straight critic to bash Queer Eye when it first aired. But we've evolved and it's now OK to hate bad Queer stuff. Straight America was thrilled to see Queers admitting on national television that we are the nelly prancing Queens straight America has always believed us to be.

So, the top ten reasons I hate Queer Eye...it is after all top ten list season...

1. Queer Eye is a relentless barrage of gay and straight stereotypes.
2. While these guys may be experts in certain areas, it has nothing to do with being queer. Of course, I can appreciate the value of gimmick; Gypsy Rose Lee taught us that. Ted may be a good cook and Thom is a very talented and practical decorator but what the fuck has queer got to do with it?
3. Queer Eye makes us look like a bunch of superficial, self-absorbed morons.
4. I guess it really does take a queer to make something pretty?
5. Carson is treacly beyond human endurance.
6. Jai is sexy as hell but what exactly is he doing on that show? Culture maven? Sorry, most straight men in my acquaintance are not neanderthals. Jai belongs on stage entertaining us with his great voice.
7. Queer Eye reinforces the notion that we can be accepted (but not quite equal) by mainstream America as long as we're entertaining and serve "the man."
8. Kyan. OK, I totally want him, but his whoring for overpriced useless "product" is embarrassing.
9. Queer Eye's contribution to television history will end up being the most whorish Infomercial ever produced.
10. Queer Eye will encourage Bravo to produce other awful shows like "Jew Eye for the Financially-Crippled Guy" and "Black Eye for the Rhythmically-Challenged Guy"

Source: Thomas & Co.