The Atlanta Card
boysbriefs:
Now I know better than to unload the private details of our battle royale, but suffice it to say there was a lot of yelling involved. I said some things, he said some things, I said some meaner things, he said some even meaner things. We both ratcheted up the volume with each blow. Then he pulled my hair, and it was on.
So there wasn't really any hair-pulling involved, but things did turn ugly. It culminated with me screaming, "WE'RE DONE. I'M GOING BACK TO ATLANTA!"
That's right, I played the Atlanta Card.
And it wasn't the first time. Sure, I've never whipped it out in the middle of a sparring match, but I've pulled that routine with more Machiavellian aplomb. For example: "But sweetie, think of all the sacrifices I've made. I gave up my family, my condo, my hometown... to be with you. Can we please just keep all my furniture and get rid of yours?" Or the less effective: "I miss my Atlanta friends. I think you should buy me this new cellphone."
There are so many things wrong with playing the Atlanta Card. It's selfish. I'm basically saying, "If I don't get my way, I'm leaving." It's totally disrespectful. As if I'd really throw away everything he's done for me, everything we've built together, over an argument about cheese (again, just an example). And it's not even logical. Atlanta is nearly 2,000 miles away. That's a 3-day drive. Like I'm gonna pile the dogs and everything I own into my Jeep and start driving.
Sometimes I can be so childish.
I'm not sure why I'd say something like that. It's the one remark I regret most about our little blowout. Perhaps a part of me still thinks of Atlanta as home, my safe haven, the place I'll crawl back to if all this ever goes to shit. That's a crutch I best stop leaning on. Otherwise, next time he may hold me to it.
The Atlanta Card
One year, eight months, and five days. That's how long we managed to go before getting into our first fight. Sure, we've experienced a few minor bouts of friction – including one grocery shopping skirmish in the deli section of Kroger (the man buys store brand, it's just wrong). But we've never, you know, thrown down. In nearly two years, we've never held a bitch-slapping, eye-clawing, plate-throwing, finger-snapping, battle-to-the-death fight. Impressive, eh? Alas, our armistice has come to an end. The cherry is popped. Innocence lost.Now I know better than to unload the private details of our battle royale, but suffice it to say there was a lot of yelling involved. I said some things, he said some things, I said some meaner things, he said some even meaner things. We both ratcheted up the volume with each blow. Then he pulled my hair, and it was on.
So there wasn't really any hair-pulling involved, but things did turn ugly. It culminated with me screaming, "WE'RE DONE. I'M GOING BACK TO ATLANTA!"
That's right, I played the Atlanta Card.
And it wasn't the first time. Sure, I've never whipped it out in the middle of a sparring match, but I've pulled that routine with more Machiavellian aplomb. For example: "But sweetie, think of all the sacrifices I've made. I gave up my family, my condo, my hometown... to be with you. Can we please just keep all my furniture and get rid of yours?" Or the less effective: "I miss my Atlanta friends. I think you should buy me this new cellphone."
There are so many things wrong with playing the Atlanta Card. It's selfish. I'm basically saying, "If I don't get my way, I'm leaving." It's totally disrespectful. As if I'd really throw away everything he's done for me, everything we've built together, over an argument about cheese (again, just an example). And it's not even logical. Atlanta is nearly 2,000 miles away. That's a 3-day drive. Like I'm gonna pile the dogs and everything I own into my Jeep and start driving.
Sometimes I can be so childish.
I'm not sure why I'd say something like that. It's the one remark I regret most about our little blowout. Perhaps a part of me still thinks of Atlanta as home, my safe haven, the place I'll crawl back to if all this ever goes to shit. That's a crutch I best stop leaning on. Otherwise, next time he may hold me to it.
posted by cockoholick at 3:54 AM
2 Comments:
I hate getting into those types of arguments....where the things that are said are unbelievably cruel and childish.
I did it yesterday to my X. We were together for 10 years. He decided he didnt want a serious partner, mainly because he had no desire to committ to another person. Well that was 3 years ago, and he and I have remained close, but have had our major momemnts.
I have been dating for the last 6 months....and the first time he found out he went nearly ape shit and bascially told me he never wanted to see me again, and also claimed it was not beause he was jealous....uh yeah right. I thought he would be happy for me, for goodness sakes.
Well he has been giving me mixed signals, so I have repeatedly attempted to bring up the topic of our relationship...mainly just to make sure he didnt want to try again because I would have def. wanted that. Every time I attempted this I either managed to get him completly pissed and defensive, or he just simply did not respond.
I therefore concluded that it would be fine for me to move forward with this great guy I have been seeing for a few months. So I told my X i was seeing this guy and guess what, he does ape shit on me again and tells me he never wants to see or talk to me again. WTF. I dont think he would have given a crap if I was dating another guy when we were actually together (he in fact was doing that).
Needless to say, this behavior set me off into a rage, and lets just say I sent him about 5 or 6 emails that were not extremely nice. I justified it by telling my self he deserves that.
A day later I am calm, and I realize i took the bait and over-reacted to his childish behavior, so i guess I am just as childish as he is.
From here, I really don't know what I should do. I still feel like he has controlled me for 3 years with this dysfunctional yet highly beneficial relationship that has evolved. His attitude has always been: as long as you play by my rules, and as long as I dont talk back or complain, we will get along great...yes he actually said that to me. Any sadly,that ridiculous statement was actually pretty accurate.
I am shocked he is so upset about me finding a guy I like, so what does one do in this situation.....cut the cord and dont look back? Yeah? Not so easy, as he lives a mile from me, and our lives are so intertwined because we have shared so much together....vacations, sports, leisure, etc.....its like a casual friendship (MY X would not even be game for a best friend level of honesty and closeness...that would be too demanding and restrictive) which, depending on both or either of our needs, would fluctuate from almost partners to life long enemies. I always in the back of my mind hoped he would come around.....and in fact he has briefly during a few "crises"in his life. However, once the obstacle passed he simply forgot all of the promises and things he said.....unreal.
I know what I need to do, but just waiting for someone to tell me to do it....its not going to be easy.
btw.....he dates and sleeps with whoever, and has done so since we first met back in 1997......first time i found out was in 2001.....but i guesss i just dont understand why he is so mad when even when we were partners he saw and dated others.....this is crazy I know
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