Thursday, April 12, 2007

Vividblurry: Blast from Past

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Augh, he is such a tease. If it's not how much he hates rushing into sex with a guy, it's how good his ass looks in his black "undies." He says he doesn't drink or do drugs. He also says he precums to the point of being virtually "self-lubricating." A description of his ideal date (homemade dinner and cuddling), a declaration of what he finds most sensual (most bodily functions, evidently). My god. A virgin and a whore.

But as they say: A freak online, an actual freak in person. Yup, that's right. We met online. Haven't yet met face to face. Now, I'm tempted to defend myself from the people who'd say I'm a loser for meeting guys online, but let's be honest, you're the one reading a stranger's blog, not me. And there's nothing wrong with that! Let's just agree that we are all on the same level here, because the Lord knows I haven't had much luck meeting gay guys in the traditional way (hoping that hastily delivered blowjob in the bathroom of JRs will net you a phone call the next day).

By the way, he is still talking about his precum.

I'm just going to gloss over the fact that he's an entering college freshman and say that when � if � we meet in person, it will go nowhere. I mean, obviously. He's 18 years old, for crying out loud. He says he's going to wait until he's found love to have sex again. He's been burned too many times. He describes himself as "strange" � more "mature" than most guys his age, and he expects his boyfriends to be mature, as well. Most haven't been, he says.

Okay, man. Whatever. A jaded if not eye-rollingly pretentious freshman � that's gonna go over real well. And as for the "doesn't drink or do drugs" thing? I pulled that same stunt at the start of my freshman year. We all did. In three months, you'll have a handle of vodka under your bed and a box of condoms in the drawer. That's when you know to sign on and say, "toby - sup?"

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