www.thegreatcockhunt.com

It was wall-to-wall people and before I saw Tommy I saw Alan. Alan is decent looking, okay I’ll grudgingly call him very good looking, and he’ll be the first one to tell you. He isn’t like oh-my-god-my-heart-stopped-and-I-fell-over-with-a-boner hot but he is totally nice to look at: tall, maybe six-one, brown studied-messy hair, big green eyes, trim and toned with grapefruit-sized biceps that he likes to flex every five or ten seconds, and a perma-tan that he swears is natural. If asked, or even if not, he’ll tell you that people mistake him for a movie-star or a model all the time. So you can see why I love him so much… Alan was holding court in a sleeveless t-shit (because you know, it was December and that was necessary) and these two younger party-boys were eating up every self-aggrandizing word that puked forth from his mouth. Oh, and did I mention that he’s also a pathological liar? Yeah, between him telling you about how beautiful everyone thinks he is, he’ll tell you about his “important” family and his “high-pressure” job, and a whole bunch of other assorted shit that is totally manufactured - just like his tan.