Confessions of a Go-Go Dancer
Confessions of a Go-Go Dancer: On a trip up Fifth Avenue this afternoon, I was lured into the new Abercrombie & Fitch flagship by a huge photo of a hot guy throwing a football. What I found inside was hysterical -- and frightening.
1) The store itself is like the Museum of Natural History. There is a moose head on one wall. There are little scenes with mannequins in the jungle, behind glass. There are clothes in those glass observation cases where you might expect to see flowers and butterfly wings. All the clothes are the same. There are four levels of store, and there are only two styles: boys' and girls'.
There also are epic murals, of men being manly and not totally clothed. And there are the museum guards (see #2).
2) Just as you had read in every news outlet on earth circa 1998, they do indeed hire guys and girls just to stand around and be themselves (or rather, act like how college students are supposed to act). There were probably 25 of these people throughout the store. Some were dancing goofily to the excessively loud music, some were chatting with each other and some were staring off into space at a carefully executed angle. All were cute. None were folding clothes.
Two guys smiled and said hi to me, which was such a turn-on, I wanted to buy the store out of its $49.50 polo shirts.
3) Though the employees are attractive, none compare with the people in the photos. Those people are so hot, I'd do any of them, even the women, in a heartbeat. I realized what the Abercrombie execs are going for: They want straight men to look at the male models and to want to suck them off. Then, not willing to admit the desire to suck them off, those straight men will just want to be like them. The easiest way to be like them is to buy their clothes.
4) Between the paintings of men, the photos of men and the real men, my libido was popping out of my pants. I noticed two things. First, I was intensely self-conscious. I have been known to stare into car windows, but I have never judged my looks in a store's mirror three times in a row, just because I wanted to see if I was as hot as the Aberzombies. Second, I kinda wanted to buy some of that clothing. I mean, I've never bought anything from Abercrombie. I've never even considered it. But my clothes seemed so uptight, so not what the situation called for. I wanted to fit in.
My gut feeling is that it's bad to buy and wear Abercrombie if you're gay. It seems like you're selling out to a company that taunts you with hot guys and then shoves it in your face how important it is to be straight. I mean, most clothing companies do that, but none so plainfacedly as Abercrombie. But as nice as it felt those few times I fit in in high school, that's how it felt to think about owning those clothes, when I was in that store.
But when I left the store, all those feelings went away.
1) The store itself is like the Museum of Natural History. There is a moose head on one wall. There are little scenes with mannequins in the jungle, behind glass. There are clothes in those glass observation cases where you might expect to see flowers and butterfly wings. All the clothes are the same. There are four levels of store, and there are only two styles: boys' and girls'.
There also are epic murals, of men being manly and not totally clothed. And there are the museum guards (see #2).
2) Just as you had read in every news outlet on earth circa 1998, they do indeed hire guys and girls just to stand around and be themselves (or rather, act like how college students are supposed to act). There were probably 25 of these people throughout the store. Some were dancing goofily to the excessively loud music, some were chatting with each other and some were staring off into space at a carefully executed angle. All were cute. None were folding clothes.
Two guys smiled and said hi to me, which was such a turn-on, I wanted to buy the store out of its $49.50 polo shirts.
3) Though the employees are attractive, none compare with the people in the photos. Those people are so hot, I'd do any of them, even the women, in a heartbeat. I realized what the Abercrombie execs are going for: They want straight men to look at the male models and to want to suck them off. Then, not willing to admit the desire to suck them off, those straight men will just want to be like them. The easiest way to be like them is to buy their clothes.
4) Between the paintings of men, the photos of men and the real men, my libido was popping out of my pants. I noticed two things. First, I was intensely self-conscious. I have been known to stare into car windows, but I have never judged my looks in a store's mirror three times in a row, just because I wanted to see if I was as hot as the Aberzombies. Second, I kinda wanted to buy some of that clothing. I mean, I've never bought anything from Abercrombie. I've never even considered it. But my clothes seemed so uptight, so not what the situation called for. I wanted to fit in.
My gut feeling is that it's bad to buy and wear Abercrombie if you're gay. It seems like you're selling out to a company that taunts you with hot guys and then shoves it in your face how important it is to be straight. I mean, most clothing companies do that, but none so plainfacedly as Abercrombie. But as nice as it felt those few times I fit in in high school, that's how it felt to think about owning those clothes, when I was in that store.
But when I left the store, all those feelings went away.
posted by cockoholick at 9:40 PM
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